Symbiosis
by hermionesmydawg
Summary: Kensi and Deeks conquered the odds and are now fully devoted to their working and living arrangement. Can a human and a cyborg actually exist peacefully together? Probably not, but that doesn't mean it won't be fun trying to learn how to. [Supplemental stories to the Companion universe.]
1. The End

**A/N:** **If you haven't read my story _Companion_ , then none of the drabbles or one-shots in this series will make sense to you. Actually, they'll probably scare the hell out of you.**

 **This won't be a traditional multi-chapter story. Think of it more as insight into the lives of Kensi and DKS-35 (and hopefully Kensi won't forget his birthday when he turns into DKS-36) after the end of _Companion_. And since this is non-traditional, the very first chapter is actually the end of their story. I've known for a while now what their destiny would be - a human and a cyborg, with different degrees of mortality and vulnerability, are destined to have a tragic fate. It's their (mostly humorous) experiences before the end that really matter, though. **

**And as usual, I don't own the characters. Shane Brennan does. Thankfully he hasn't had me arrested yet for the things I do to them.**

* * *

There were several incidents that put them in the position they were in right now - standing in the middle of a dreadfully ugly house atop the hills in Malibu. Okay, yes, most of the incidents were her fault, except for one of the really big ones. That one was his fault, no matter how hard he tried to deny it. Neither could take credit for the ultimate catalyst that brought them here on this exact day and time, however.

"I don't like the skylight." Deeks pointed to the ceiling. "Why would I want to give aliens easier access when they decide to invade?"

Kensi rolled her eyes. "For one thing, an alien invasion is the last thing you should be worried about right now. And also, aliens aren't real."

"Are you going to start this with me again? They're real."

"I'll believe it when I see one in the flesh."

Deeks picked at the paint peeling off the wall. "How do you know you've never met one? You never know. And I can practically feel you getting lead poisoning from these walls."

"Are you saying you know an alien?" She ignored the walls and the floors and the godawful kitchen decor, keeping her focus on what drew her here in the first place.

"I don't know for sure but I have my suspicions."

"Sam is not an alien," she said with a laugh.

Deeks curled his lips. "Well, he's not human."

Kensi shook her head. "After all this time, you're still mad about the push-up contest."

"Damn straight. Like I said, not human." She could feel his attention being drawn toward her back as she stared out of the biggest window she'd ever seen in her life. The view of the Pacific Ocean in all of it's expansive glory was breathtaking, almost as much as the feeling of his arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her to his chest. "It's beautiful," he murmured, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"This is it." A single tear rolled down her cheek, and she wiped it away furiously. She could do this. _They_ could do this. "This is where I want to be."

 _When we die_ , she thought but didn't say. He knew what she meant anyway. The view from this window was amazing not only because of what they could see, but what they couldn't. The fires, the riots, people killing each other in the streets as they tried desperately to get as far away from this city as they could. But them? Not them. They stayed and did their jobs until it became apparent that there was no cause to fight for anymore.

Now here they were, in this abandoned home with the most perfect view in the world. Deeks didn't fear his own death - he embraced it. It was Kensi that dreaded the inevitable for them both. The ocean, calmer and quieter than she could ever remember in her entire life, helped ease her fears. His strong arms around her, holding her tight as he unstrapped her rifle and let it fall gently to the floor, helped as well. This was how she wanted to go, though maybe she could convince him that the best way to greet death would be as one instead of two. Getting lost in him, losing control of her senses and body with the ocean as their backdrop would be the most beautiful way to leave this world. When all that was left was ash and dust, at least she would have that to cling to in whatever afterlife might await her. If there was a God, hopefully he'd allow her Companion to come with her.

Deeks smiled at her thoughts, watching the clear blue waves crash against the beach. "Regrets?"

She shook her head, lacing her fingers through his. What was once a foreign feeling against her skin was now natural and necessary. "No regrets."

* * *

For the record, this chapter is entirely the fault of wingsofnight and her awesome edit where Los Angeles is burning (that I can't find to save my life). Just go look at everything of hers, cause it's awesome.


	2. You Like That, Don't You?

**Did I mention that most of these drabbles will be pretty ridiculous? Cause yeah.**

* * *

"I'm fully capable of dressing myself, ya know."

Deeks tugged at his fitted black shirt, acting as if the cotton collar's main purpose on this planet was to choke him. Kensi rolled her eyes and unbuttoned another of his polo shirt's buttons, smoothing the fabric over his shoulders and chest. "I am aware of this, you manage to do it every day. But I'm not going out in public with you if you're wearing plaid."

"I don't understand why I have to go out with you anyway…"

"Quit acting like an old man," Kensi chided him, sticking her credit card and ID in her bra. It had been at least a year since she'd gone out dancing, since her last remaining city friend found a suitable life partner and got the hell out of this retched city. But tonight, she was eager and ready to dance. "Lighten up. Have a little fun, Marty."

Deeks scowled at her use of his made up first name. She beamed proudly. In some sick sort of way, she really enjoyed getting under his synthetic skin. It was pretty easy, too. There were very few things he could say no to her about, and she took advantage of that way too often. "Don't most people go out dancing by themselves in hopes of finding a nice, warm body to fuck for the evening?"

God, she had been a terrible influence on his language skills. Though she was fluent in English, French, and Spanish, she was also highly proficient in profanity. Deeks was getting to be just as bad as she was. "Some people like to dance just to dance. And stop looking at me like that."

He adjusted his jeans, fiddling with his belt. He wasn't looking at her, but she knew better. "I'm not even looking at you."

"And yet, you're judging." She slipped her knife into her right boot and holstered her 380 high on her thigh. So yes, maybe her clothes, or lack thereof, would suggest she was looking for a hookup. Her off the shoulder midriff thin sweatshirt, short black shirt, and lace-up boots were just her style. Fuck anyone who thought differently. "Besides, I need someone to keep the perverts away."

"More clothes would probably keep the perverts away."

"Shut up."

* * *

 _Help me._

Even through the pounding music and her beer haze, she could feel Deeks begging for help from his perch at the the bar. The least he could do was join her on the dance floor. Maybe if all of the chicks in this place saw his awful dance moves, they'd quit hitting on him.

 _I heard that._

Kensi sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, sauntering over towards the bar. Or at least, she thought she was sauntering. Stumbling might have been a more apt description. Either way, when she reached the bar she curled her fingers through Deeks' hair and ignored the blond trying to hit on him. "Marty, baby, why won't you dance with me?"

Deeks flashed a smile at the Barbie wannabe. "Sorry. She's only a little possessive and definitely more than a little dangerous."

The Barbie girl in this not so Barbie world raised her eyebrows and turned on her heel, headed off to find some other dude that would fawn over and then fuck her. "That's what you get," Kensi slurred, still playing with his hair. How did they make his hair feel so real?

"For what?" He scoffed.

She grinned. "Standing here like some kind of sexy statue instead of dancing like an idiot."

"Okay, first of all, wow. You're really drunk."

"Nuh uh." But yes, she was.

"Secondly," he said louder. "Just because I'm choosing not to dance to this shit you call music, does not mean that I _can't_ dance."

"What, like this?" Kensi stiffened her body and jerked her arms back and forth until she couldn't contain her laughter.

Deeks rolled his eyes. "The Robot. Cute."

Snatching him by the hand, she dragged him into the drunk sea of people. She bounced off of enthusiastic bodies, searching for a safe space to make Deeks prove himself. The energy in this place was electrifying. It could have been the alcohol or her Companion's tight grasp on her hand, but she was buzzing from head to toe. Finding a hole in the crowd, she spun around and pressed her body to his. _God, why was he always so damn warm?_ She'd be drenched in sweat in no time dancing with this guy.

He glanced down at her and rested his hands lightly on her hips. "Whatcha doin?"

"Prove it," she said, swaying her hips against him. "There's no way you can dance. Your bones are steel and you have built-in body armor. It's a miracle you can even walk."

"Pretty sure you don't want me to prove you wrong…" Deeks tightened his grip on her hips, his thumbs grazing the skin below her shirt. A light-headed feeling washed over her, intensifying when he began to move his body with hers. Like he could control both of them, perfectly in sync, and she was powerless to stop him. He smiled proudly. "Uh huh. You like that, don't you?"

She wanted to nod, or scream yes yes yes, but she held herself back. It was the alcohol, definitely the alcohol, but the way he was moving made her want to pull him even closer. She had the urge to wrap her arms around his neck, to bring his stupid face down to her level so she could feel the heat of his breath against her cheek, to ghost her lips…

Deeks froze, eyes wide. What was a game turned a little too serious for a moment. _Non-human_ , her mind screamed. _Non-human that can read your mind and that you probably just scared the ever-loving shit out of. Dumbass. Drunk horny freak, perving on a robot. What the fuck?!_

"Are you okay?" He asked, twisting his lips. "You just got really weird. Er. Weirder."

She gulped and separated their bodies. The space made her mind clearer, though not clear enough. It was still spinning. "Yeah, I, um, might be getting one of my headaches."

It was a good excuse, but one he didn't believe. Ever since her encounter with The Chameleon, and his harsh right hook to her jaw, she'd suffered from sporadic yet crippling headaches. Deeks usually sensed them before they started, so he knew she was lying this time. Still, he nodded and placed a hand on her back to lead her to the door. "Okay. Let's get you home."

This time she did nod. His warm hand on her body was both comforting and confusing, or at least it was until she felt Deeks mutter under his breath. "Horny freak."

Dammit. Next time, she'd leave the Companion at home. Maybe.


	3. My Night Just Got Better

Kensi was getting faster. It was amazing really, that she could be in such good shape and literally do nothing but shove garbage in her mouth. All day. It was fascinating. She didn't have an ounce on fat on her body. Not that he made it a point to notice these things, but just because he wasn't human didn't mean that he didn't have eyes.

What was he thinking about again? Suddenly he was thinking less about sprinting faster than Kensi on their evening run, and more about what he was going to eat for dinner. This was the kind of terrible influence she had on him. Maybe she wasn't getting faster. He was probably getting slower. All the fat and grease and chocolate, oh the chocolate, that he'd been eating with her must have been slowly killing his system. He was going to be the first Companion to die from a heart attack, he just knew it.

Deeks picked up his pace, zooming past Kensi amid her protesting. She may ultimately be the death of him, but there was no way in hell she was going to beat him today. When she finally caught up to him, he was already inside their apartment drinking a glass of water. "Oh hey, you made it."

"Do you have an extra gear I don't know about?" She panted, resting her hands on her hips. Sweat dripped from a loose clump of hair on her forehead, landing on her nose and sliding down her face. He tried not to stare, because that made it awkward. They were already so connected mentally. The added thoughts of him admiring the way she perspired would just…well, it would just make an already sometimes weird situation even weirder. "You're watching me sweat," she accused.

"The way your body works is different than mine," he rebutted, taking another sip of water. "Smelly perspiration as a way to cool the body just seems a lot less appealing that my own internal cooling system."

"It's natural is what it is. And I don't smell."

Deeks made a face, and she snarled at him. He decided it would be better to not argue with her about her body odors. "I'm hungry. You're not?"

She shook her head. His hyper-awareness of her needs didn't even phase her anymore. "Nah, I had some chicken wings before we left work."

"Chicken wings."

"What? Callen had a shit ton of them." She wiped her brow. "Go get something for yourself, I'm hopping in the shower. Out of necessity, not because you think I smell. Which I don't."

"I didn't say-"

"Getting in the shower," she interrupted, slipping into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her.

Hmm. Yeah, he was definitely hungry, but wasn't craving anything in particular. Chicken wings did sound pretty good, but no. He needed something healthier than that. Popping his lips, he strolled into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Lettuce? Check. Feta, olives, peppers? Check, check, check. Wow, Kensi actually hadn't eaten everything he bought at their local store. Excellent. "Well, well. My night just got better."

He hummed to himself, methodically prepping the simplest but undoubtedly most delicious salad ever. No fucking fried chicken for him today. Tonight, he would feast on rabbit food. Although, he was feeling way too happy to be eating this salad. His head was becoming cloudy, his extremities were started to tingle, and he was just starting to feel really fucking fantastic.

Shit. His heavy eyes shot open as he realized what was happening. This feeling wasn't foreign necessarily, but it was new to him in this relationship. Good Lord, did Kensi love running so much that she had to get herself off in the shower afterwards? Though maybe she just needed to release some built up tension. Either way, Deeks needed to either get the hell out of the apartment or hold on tight.

His brain was a very complex creation. It thought logically, but still had the necessary emotional capabilities to make it in this world. Logically, he should leave. Emotionally? Emotionally, he was curious. He'd been living with Kensi for a few weeks now, and was getting to know her better and better. It was his job to love her, and it was easy to love her. And by God, right now she was loving the hell out of herself and he loved that, too.

Closing his eyes, he braced himself against the kitchen counter. Warmth spread through his chest, dispersing itself through his whole body until he felt so high that he wasn't even sure his feet were still touching the ground. His gut clenched tighter and tighter, so tight that he wanted to slam his fist against the counter in frustration. _Goddammit Kensi_ , he thought. _Just fucking come already._

Then his body shook and jerked forward against the hard countertop as he gasped in shock. Waves of pleasure rode through him, stronger than he thought possible given the distance between the two of them. Yes, their connection was freakishly strong, but this was taking that bond to a whole other level. In fact, it may have been possible that his mental encouragement of her actually pushed her over the edge. Yeah, because they really needed this thing of theirs to get even more complicated than it already was.

When he opened his eyes again finally, his salad stared up at him. Shaming him, if it was possible for roughage to pass judgment. And holy shit, now he was really starving. He licked his lips and steadied his feet, tearing into his salad with vigor. About half way through his dinner, Kensi emerged from the bathroom in just a towel. Shock covered her face.

"I thought you were leaving to get dinner."

"Yeah, uh," Deeks mumbled, mouth full of food. "Salad. I made one. Here."

She pulled the towel tight around her chest. "Is your face flushed?"

Shoving a fork full in his mouth, he shook his head. "This salad. It's just really fucking good."

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously but she remained silent as she turned and walked into the bedroom. Oh yeah, she knew that he knew. And he knew that she knew. If he had to guess, neither one of them would acknowledge this event in the future.

Plus one for healthy eating. Negative two for even more awkwardness. Deeks just couldn't win.


	4. Pushups

Kensi's mouth fell open in shock, and her cloth sack of groceries tumbled to the floor. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Just, uh, working out." Deeks scratched his head and nonchalantly propped himself up on his elbows. An apple was still rolling on the floor, coming to a rest at his hip. "You're home early."

"You didn't know that? I've never surprised you before."

"I was in the moment," he defended himself.

Clearing her throat, she let her eyes roam over his body. "You're naked. On my bedroom floor." Yeah, naked. Deeks on the floor with clothes on wouldn't have made her lose all bodily control. Right now, she was just trying to stare at his face instead of his ass. Really, she should just walk away because this was completely inappropriate. But no. She couldn't move.

"I just got out of the shower."

"You're doing them, aren't you?" Kensi asked excitedly, plopping on the floor in the doorway. He groaned, but she didn't care. If she'd had popcorn in her bag, she would have pulled it out and started chomping away at it. "Do it. I wanna see."

Furrowing his brow, he shook his head vehemently. "Nah, I'm good. Just finishing. I'm really nice and exercised right now, if you wanna just…leave, I will put clothes on and we'll never speak of this again."

"Oh hell no." Grinning widely, she allowed herself to survey the work of scientific art in front of her. His body was almost like a sculpture, perfectly curved and molded. Well, a damaged sculpture perhaps. His bullet wounds stood out below the smooth flesh of his back, but it just added character to an otherwise flawless specimen. Speaking of which, she tilted her head and stared at his ass for a few seconds. _Way to go, science. Way to go._

"Do you mind?" He asked, annoyed.

"Not at all," she responded with a laugh. Leaning forward, she reached out and smacked his ass. _Firm. Nice._ "You have got a great ass, by the way."

Deeks huffed. "Thank you, I had absolutely no part in making it. Now, bye."

"I'm not budging until you levitate just from the power of your mighty, mighty cock."

"Really?"

Crossing her arms, she made herself comfortable on the floor. She meant what she said - she wasn't budging until he at least attempted one of these special pushups of his. "So, what prompted this sudden desire to exercise your pole?"

He rolled his eyes, the majority of his body still flat on the floor. "What makes you think I don't do this all the time?"

"Because you appear frustrated."

"Perhaps it's because, oh I don't know, you're here? And stop staring at my ass, please."

"Okay, fine." She bit her bottom lip. "Did you push the button first?"

"Goddammit." He dropped his head, planting his face on the floor. "You have to push the button first," was his muffled reply.

 _Just fucking do it, Deeks_ , she encouraged him silently. _Give me this one thing to blow my mind wide open. You know you want to._

"Do you think talking to me in your head is helping at all?"

"Maybe," she answered. _Do it for me_ , she thought again. _Do it for meeeeeee._

Sighing, he shook his head, probably to get her thoughts out of it. With his body prone to the floor, he exhaled and she waited with baited breath. Ever so slowly his body began to rise, completely different from the quick burst of a traditional pushup. As much as she wanted to see the holy organ that could perform such an unbelievable feat, she closed her eyes before she could get a glimpse. Just imagining it was enough to send her mind spiraling out of control. _Look, dammit, look_. "Holy shit," she squeaked and forced her eyes back open. Deeks was flat again, and glowering at her. God, she should have looked. _Why didn't she look?!_

"Happy now?" He asked.

She nodded, embarrassed. Backing away slowly when she found him should have been her go-to reaction, not demanding a cock pushup show. Now she'd never be able to stop thinking about them. It. Dammit. "Thanks. And sorry. I'm just gonna…" She stood up, tripping over a roll of paper towels.

Deeks tilted his head. "Put the groceries up?"

"That," she pointed at him. "Yes. And you're going to-"

"Exactly." Wiggling his fingers, he nodded his head towards the kitchen. "Bye."

Her elbow hit the door frame but she ignored the pain, scrambling to kick the groceries out of her room and slam the door shut. "Bye."


	5. Headaches

What used to be a once a week occurrence started coming twice a week. Then three times, four times, five, until it seemed like every night when Kensi tried to sleep, she couldn't.

It had been four months now since her life changed unexpectedly. New partner, new roommate, new bed-mate…all the same person. For the most part, that was actually pretty great. But the headaches? They were a bitch, and now so was she.

One of the big problems with having a Companion was that they were almost like a living mirror, but instead of images they reflected moods and emotions. So when Kensi was cranky, Deeks was cranky. He was about fed up with it all and was having trouble tempering his moodiness. His crashing and banging of pots and dishes around the kitchen did nothing to help her current state of distress.

Stepping out of the bedroom, Kensi covered her eyes and snarled. "Do you have to make so much noise?"

"I don't _have_ to," he replied testily. "I put your dinner in a container for you."

"I'm not hungry."

"Eating will help-"

"Quiet will help," she snapped. "And darkness. So if you could shut up and…fuck it, I don't know. Make everything dark. That would help."

She knew that he just wanted to help her. When the headaches first started he would hold her tight, trying to suck some of the pain away. But that wasn't fair to him, and more often than not she pushed him away now. She didn't know what hurt him more, though - the pain she was in or her rejection.

Maybe she could sleep tonight. Maybe tomorrow she would be back to normal. Maybe this would be the last one because her fucking brain would explode and put her out of her misery.

"Maybe you should quit being stubborn and go to the doctor," Deeks said softly, lying down beside her. He meant well, he really did, so she didn't snap at him. This time.

Reaching blindly for his hand, she found it behind her back and curled her fingers in between his. "So they can diagnose me with a headache? I can do that on my own. And the pain meds just dull it, not make it go away."

"There could be something wrong with your neck or jaw. Like, you could need an adjustment or realignment. It wouldn't hurt to give a D.O. a try."

Deeks and his hippie shit. There always had to be a fix for something. He probably knew of some magical flower that only grew under the ass of an ancient monk that would cure all of her troubles, but he just hadn't figured out how to sneak out of the country to find it. "I'll think about it."

His thumb stroked her hand while he played with her hair, his long fingers twisting and curling their way through her waves. Just his touch was magical, though he claimed magic wasn't real. She never felt more alive than she did when his hands were on her. But she didn't want to be selfish. He could feel what she felt when they were touching, and how she felt was _not_ good.

"Stop thinking that," he murmured, nuzzling into her hair. "Have you never thought that maybe I like touching you, too?"

Of course she thought that. She knew that. But sometimes the lines were blurry as hell between them. This connection wasn't natural yet it was becoming unavoidable. She felt very strange things around him at times, feelings that twisted her gut and made her head hurt even more. Still, his words made a small smile cross her lips, the first one all night. "That sounds kinda naughty," she teased weakly, squeezing her eyes tighter. "I love it when you talk dirty."

He chuckled lightly, and she knew their harsh tones from earlier were forgiven. "Is that, um…is that something you want me to do?"

 _Brain. Ouch._ "What?"

"Vasodilation and the rush of endorphins from an orgasm can relieve headaches. It's scientifically proven," Deeks answered simply.

Oh God. She was choking now, but it sounded kind of like laughing. Nervous laughing. "Please don't make me laugh. It's jostles my brain."

"I'm not…I'm just trying to help. Or you could," he cleared his throat, "go take a shower."

 _Shit._ Fuckdammit. This asshole fucking knew everything. "If I stand up again, I'm gonna puke."

"Yeah, that's not what I meant by dirty talk…"

"What I mean is," she whined. "I don't want to get in the shower. And how dare you, sir."

"Sorry." She felt him shrug. "Next time make sure I'm out of the apartment before you have private pussy time if you don't want me to feel it."

This conversation was not happening. It was a migraine induced hallucination, obviously. "I'm not sure how cool I am with you saying pussy."

"Why? You say cock literally _all_ the time. What's the difference?"

Rolling onto her back, she let go of his hand and slung her arm over her eyes. If he didn't have the ability to make his voice sound calm and soothing she would have punched him in the throat and told him to shut up. "Cock is funny. Pussy is…"

"Sexy?"

"No. I don't know. Just…no dirty talk. I take it back. I don't love it." Or maybe, she just didn't love it when her head was pounding. This was just very strange, but she was getting desperate and willing to try almost anything that didn't require her having to move or open her eyes. "Tell me a story instead."

 _Does that mean you want me to help?_ Deeks thought. She sighed. _Yes_ , she silently answered him. _But if I get weirded out, I might elbow you in the groin._

"So, yeah. Story time," he said quickly. Maybe his story would be so boring that she'd fall asleep before he had a chance to…well, gratify her. This was kind of terrifying. She was about to chicken out, and even opened her mouth to stop him, but spoke too late. "I went to Paris one time."

"Oh. Really?" Okay. So a real story, then. Just the fact that he'd been out of the country before was almost enough to distract her from the sensation of his fingertips slipping under her shirt and tracing delicate lines along the muscles of her stomach. Almost. Despite how close they were, his touch seemed foreign every time he ventured somewhere new. It was different from most real men, who could be rough and greedy with their affections. Deeks was the exact opposite of that.

"Breathe," he whispered in her ear. Apparently her body had forgotten to keep doing that. _Breathe. Story._ Don't focus on the hand, even though she was enjoying just the soft caress of his fingers more than a lot of things done to her in far more sexual situations than this. In fact, she was quite enjoying herself, in spite of the headache.

"Breathing," she replied, gasping audibly when his fingers lightly brushed against the underside of her breast. It was at that moment that the difference between them became glaringly obvious to her. While she couldn't see this as anything other than sexual, it felt as if he approached it differently. He loved her, but not necessarily in a romantic or sexual way. He loved her in every way possible. His touch and the feelings she got from it told her as much. Worshiped, _that_ was how she felt when his hands were on her. That eased her concerns some and she relaxed her muscles. "Okay. Paris. Did you see the Eiffel Tower?"

"Of course." Deeks flattened his palm against her ribs, cupping her breast gently. She could feel his heartbeat in her gut and see vivid images of his memories in her mind. Paris. The Louvre. Wine and cheese and truffles. Cobblestone streets under her feet. It was like she was there with him for a second, but the visions didn't stay with her. "So, there was this CIA asset, a French scientist named Noemie Beauchene. Actually, her father was French, mother American. She worked for this global pharmaceutical company, with branches all over Europe, Asia, and the Middle East. Thanks to her we knew that for ever 9 batches of vaccines sent out, they would sneak out one batch of genetically modified anthrax."

What may have been an odd story choice to some was actually perfect for Kensi. She squirmed closer to him. "Were there any bio-terrorism attacks?"

"Not here, no." His hand drifted lower again, toying with the waistband of her pajama shorts. "Someone within the company found out that she was a spy. She was kidnapped, of course, so we were assigned with an extraction mission. The US doesn't negotiate with terrorists, or supporters of terrorists. It was a simple plan, in and out."

Deeks slipped his fingers just under the elastic of her panties. Kensi's breath caught in her throat, and she could swear the same happened to him. When he picked up his story again, she noticed his voice was heavier and his breathing a little more ragged. "Um. Things rarely go as planned, though. We found her in Paris, but she wasn't so much a victim as an accomplice. The kidnapper was her lover and the abduction was just a ploy for money. We later found out that the information she supplied was full of half truths - accurate details, wrong locations. She played everyone."

The slow pace he was taking was nice when it started, but now it was torturous. She didn't know if he was afraid, or thought he could get her off without actually having to really _touch_ her (and he probably could), but there was definite hesitation on his part. Her head throbbed uncontrollably but she felt almost high, like she was stuck in that infuriating spot right before she usually climaxed. It was coming but she was just waiting for the push to send her tumbling over the edge. "What, uh, happened next?"

Some of his thoughts and memories were still finding their way into her mind. His concentration was dwindling, just as her own was. "Je vais te faire prier pour la mort," he said lowly, as if he remembered the words but not who actually spoke them. _I'll make you pray for death._ Then all the jumbled thoughts went away and her mind was clear again. Soft lips kissed her temple, like every night before she drifted off to sleep, but she was wide awake now. It was her turn to speak again. She could have just thought it, but he needed to actually hear the words.

"Deeks." Kensi bucked her hips. "Please."

It only took one small shift from his hand and she lost what little control she had been holding on to. Spots glowed below below her closed eyes and her body literally shook from what was undoubtedly the most euphoric feeling she'd ever known. Her lips parted but no sound escaped, not that it would have mattered. The sweet whimper and sigh in her ear overshadowed any of the ridiculous noises she could have made.

That kind of reaction should have been expected. If holding hands and hugs could ease sadness and pain, then kisses should leave her breathless and sex would probably fucking kill her. Just a hand between her legs blinded her and made her lose concept of time and space.

"How is your head?" Deeks asked, after her, _their_ , breathing returned to normal.

 _What?_ Hello, his hand was just down her pants and yet he didn't feel like that was something they needed to discuss. Goodbye boundaries, hello orgasm. Jesus. Cyborgs. She dropped her arm from her face and tried to open her eyes. The pain was already starting to dissipate. "A little better."

"Good." He kissed the top of her head and rolled over, pulling the blankets over his body. "Good night."

Kensi sighed and rolled over as well. Clearly, he didn't want to talk about this. "You didn't finish your story. What happened to the asset?"

"It's a shame we didn't find her soon enough," he answered robotically. A well rehearsed line, it seemed. "She appeared to have gone through quite an ordeal before her death."

She wondered if those lines were forced, or even programmed into his brain. Now it made sense why he got confused and quit telling his story. There was more than one version of it. "A shame," she echoed, but the sentiment was for a different reason. "Good night."


	6. Cocked

"You know, that cock of yours is pretty distracting."

Deeks rolled his eyes loudly. Yes, loudly. The gesture was extreme enough that Kensi could feel the motion in her own eyeballs. He fired the last bullet in her antique Smith & Wesson .38 revolver, then gently placed the gun on the shelf in front of him. Uncocked. "Do you mean what I think you mean by that?" He took his ear muffs off. "Cause your pussy is pretty distracting too."

Kensi scoffed and looked at her t-shirt. "This is vintage."

"It's Hello Kitty." He curled his upper lip. "And you're thirty."

She tugged at her shirt with a scowl. It was too tight already before the extra tugging, and Deeks found his eyes wandering to her chest. Staring was wrong, very wrong, but it was hard not to look at that damn cartoon cat and the fluffy kittens hidden underneath it. Ogling boobs was not his thing at all. He didn't have his own sexual urges, just merely fed off of the energy around him. If he wanted to look at her boobs, it was because she wanted him to look at her boobs. And if she wanted him to look at her boobs, then...shit.

"Your whole thumb pops out of socket," she said, getting back to her original point. The cocking. She hung her ear muffs on the wall and swayed over to his booth, grabbing his dominant hand. The scent of gunpowder took over his senses, as if they were both trying to capture that smell from his hands. "Are you double jointed?"

"I don't really know what that means," he answered, narrowing his eyes. One by one she surveyed his long fingers, bending and twisting them as she pleased. He didn't say what he was thinking - that she had developed quite a fascination with his hands lately. And this right here, the pure glee he couldn't help but feel as she admired his anatomy, was why he should have kept his hands to himself in the first place. Now she was even more curious than before.

Kensi flattened her palm against his. While her hands were pretty fucking big for a girl, his still dwarfed hers. "Press my fingers back as far as you can."

"Okay." Deeks pushed her fingers backwards until he met resistance and she grimaced. The angle was shallow, probably only 45 degrees. Definitely not as flexible as his own. This little oddity somehow was never evident to him before. Humans. "You're not very flexible."

"Don't judge a girl by her fingers," she remarked with a smirk.

"Do I even want to know what that means?"

She raised an eyebrow. "I don't know, do you?"

Okay, yes, she definitely wanted him to look at her boobs earlier. But, he thought, she was just fucking with him. It was like a game to her, seeing how far she could push their boundaries. A human teasing their Companion? Well, that was just mean. He cleared his throat and pressed against her fingers, bending his hand nearly in half. Her eyes grew wide and he smiled smugly. "Point, Deeks."

"You have fascinating phalanges." Kensi nodded her head, impressed, then yanked her hand away. "Are you this bendy everywhere?"

Two could play at this game, he supposed. "You'd like to know, wouldn't you?"

Her abilities to block him out of her mind had gotten much better, and right then she had it on total lockdown. He knew though, based off of her eyes and the funny little curl of her lips, that the answer was yes. No way she would admit it yet, however. Just like with his resistance to bullets, Kensi's curiosity couldn't be quenched until the truth smacked her in the face. Not that he was thinking about anything of his coming into any kind of contact with her face. Or mouth. What the fuck was going on in her mind to make him start thinking about perverted shit like this?

"Don't flatter yourself," she finally replied. Grabbing the gun, she gingerly fingered the hammer. "But for the record, the weirdo motion of your thumb isn't the only cock that's distracting."

Point, Kensi.


	7. Memory

"Why don't humans ever just listen?!" A couple of bodies muffled his shouts. Well that, and the gunfire. "We yell drop your weapons, and they start shooting."

"Welcome to LA," Kensi replied sarcastically. She'd already disabled one rebel, but the other was still firing his rifle like a complete and total fuckwad.

They'd all been expecting some sort of disorganized attack today. It was the anniversary of the first rebel attack, though she couldn't even remember how many years this date marked. Too many. Why anybody thought it was a good idea to leave their homes today, she had no idea.

A bullet whizzed by her ear, splintering the wall behind her. Deeks gripped the random mother and child they'd ushered into the alley with them when the shooting started. "Kensi?"

"Fine," she answered shortly. "Or I will be as soon as this fucker runs out of bullets."

"Language," he scolded. "There's an impressionable child with us."

Another bullet cracked the exterior of the building they were hiding behind and Kensi angrily took aim at the shooter. "Are you seriously giving me a lecture about my language during a firefight? Shut the fuck up and just keep them from getting shot."

She crouched and waited for her opportunity. Just as the shooter turned his body to fire at the shops on the other side of the road, she pulled the trigger and connected with his temple. The boom from her .45 silenced the street, so the thud from the AR and the man holding it echoed throughout as they hit the pavement.

"Done." Kensi stood and holstered her weapon.

Deeks nodded and stood up, helping the woman he was protecting to her feet. "Go home and stay home. Maybe for like, a week," he said with a chuckle, trying to ease her nervous face.

The lady squeezed her daughter's hand tightly. "Thank you."

The little girl's hair was disheveled but she appeared much calmer than her mother. It must have been the superhero costume she was wearing. Halloween was long over, but kids don't let go of their undercover personas very easily. Deeks tilted his head and knelt down to her level. "Thanks for saving us all, Supergirl."

She smiled timidly, reaching out to Deeks' face. First she poked his cheek, then squeezed his nose. "What are you?"

The question was innocent, but Kensi noticed the way Deeks' smile faltered at those words. She had a deep connection to her Companion, and felt a pang of sadness in her gut from the tiny superhero's question. It didn't seem likely that a child would be able to tell the difference between a human and a cyborg though, right? "We're federal agents," Kensi explained quickly, forcing a smile.

The mother nodded another thank you and scurried away with her little girl. Adrenaline was still pumping in Kensi's ears from the shootout that literally just ended, but she tried to calm herself back down by taking slow, deep breaths. She pulled her phone out to call for backup/cleanup, glancing at Deeks. He hadn't moved. "She didn't mean anything by that, Deeks. She was probably like, three at the most."

"She is this many," he said, holding up four fingers as he stood up. Together they walked out of the alley, surveying the damage while Kensi input their location for crime scene cleanup. "And she knew I was different. Kids are intuitive, they know more than you think."

Kensi kicked the automatic rifle away from the man she just shot. "What do you know about kids? You never even were one. No offense."

"Why would I take offense to that? No one has ever had to wipe my ass and except for that one time in Vegas, I've never worn a diaper."

"Um." She bit her lip. "I'm gonna need to hear this story."

"Sorry darling, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." Kneeling on the ground, he searched the pockets of one of the shooters. He pulled out a few full magazines and a small pistol, setting them off the side before moving to the next guy.

He seemed distracted, maybe even disconnected. Sometimes she purposely blocked him out of her brain, and it felt like he was possibly doing that to her. It was hard for her to get a read on what was going through his mind. "You sure that little girl didn't upset you?"

"She didn't, no." He shrugged. "It's fascinating that she knew that I wasn't like her, but it didn't upset me. What bothers me is that she wasn't scared. I saw her thoughts. They were full of cartoons and games and a song that she hums in her head all day long. She trusted that she and her mom were going to be okay because I was protecting them. I'll never understand how humans can be so awesome and trusting and then magically become these creatures that hurt each other and feel no remorse when they do it."

"Santa Claus," Kensi answered simply.

Deeks narrowed his eyes. "The fat guy that sits at the mall in November and December is to blame for the downfall of the human race?"

"No, dumbass. But in a way, yes. When we're kids we believe in magic, like Santa and the Easter Bunny because that's what we're told is real. But then you finally wake up and realize that the awesome Lego set you get every year doesn't come from the North Pole, it's actually from Aunt Barbara in San Diego."

He shook his head. "What about the kids that don't celebrate Christmas? And who the hell is Aunt Barbara?"

"She's a metaphor. Santa is a metaphor." They had gathered all the weapons and sent their messages for backup. Thankfully no one that they could see had been hit by the spray of bullets. "I'm saying that everyone has that moment where you lose your innocence and start to see the world for what it is. An ugly place."

"Not everyone," he responded softly.

Sometimes it was hard for her to remember that her partner wasn't human. Sure, she joked about it all the time, but the longer they were together, the more accustomed she became to his eccentricities. And then, like now, she would remember that they are very, very different. He didn't have a childhood, or Santa, or first crushes, or birthday parties. He never lost his innocence, because he never had it in the first place.

"My oldest memory is playing out in my backyard with my Dad." Her parents, or her younger years at all, wasn't something she ever really talked about. But offering a piece of herself was the only way for Deeks to do the same, she had learned. "I was about that little girl's age. It's not very clear, but it's a happy memory."

Deeks crossed his arms, looking at her like he knew exactly why she told him that story. "I'm glad your first memory is a happy one."

"Deeks."

"I don't know what you want me to say here." He sighed. "I woke up one day, like waking up from the deepest sleep you can imagine from a giant shot of caffeine. I already knew everything and yet I knew absolutely nothing. I could quote Shakespeare but didn't know shit about real love or happiness until I had my own human. Before that, we had to learn everything about how to be like a human. Like, stupid little things that you completely take for granted."

"Potty training?" Kensi joked.

"It takes some of us longer than others," he deadpanned, but his lips curled slightly into a smile. "All I'm saying is that I wasn't born innocent like you were. Hell, I wasn't born at all. My birthday isn't some occasion deserving of bouncy houses and chocolate cake. It is simply when a human decided my body and mind were ready to come to life."

Gently placing all of the weapons and ammo they'd gathered from the scene in a pile, Kensi brushed her hands off on her jeans and walked over to Deeks. She raised her arms, trying to determine the most appropriate place to touch his body. How would one comfort a cyborg, and did he even need comforting? Whether he needed it or not, she felt like she had to give it. Her hands landed on his folded arms, prying them apart so she could hold his hands. They were warm as always. "So, when does DKS-35 turn into DKS-36?"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't remind me that I'm getting old."

"Seriously. I promise, no bouncy houses."

"Bouncy houses are scary. How do you ever stop bouncing?" He squeezed her hands and twisted his lips. They could both hear the cleanup trucks approaching from a few blocks away. "Fine. January 8th. Santa tried to bring me on Christmas but I must have gotten lost somewhere in Greenland for a few days."

"Santa's not real, Deeks," she teased with a smile.

He raised an eyebrow. "What if I told you he was?" Her eyes grew wide and he immediately burst into laughter. Pulling away, he yanked on her ponytail. "I'm kidding. Maybe. Come on, we've got work to do."

Kensi made a mental note to write down January 8th somewhere at home so she wouldn't forget the date. She wasn't one to ever waste an excuse to eat birthday cake.

"Don't bother, you'll still forget it," he muttered, winking as he jogged to meet the cleanup crew. She grumbled in his direction, knowing damn well that under normal circumstances he would probably be right. But while he thought humans didn't ever listen, she wanted to prove to him that _his_ human did.


	8. Thankful

**Since it's almost Thanksgiving in the US, this seemed fitting. And I really want some pumpkin pie.**

* * *

"So I've been meaning to ask..."

"Really, usually you just know."

"...why the hell did you volunteer us for the holiday shift?" Deeks zipped his leather jacket as high as it could go and flipped his hoodie over his head. "The holiday shift on the coldest day Los Angeles has seen since the early 2000s, I might add."

"Your metal bones starting to stiffen up?" Kensi asked teasingly.

He scowled and blew a puff of smoke out of his mouth. "Synthetic bone, not metal. Smartass."

The streets were quiet that day. Most people were probably gathered around their tables with family, stuffing their faces with turkey and cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie. But criminals didn't always stop their activities, not even for pre-Christmas. That's what Kensi called it anyway, since Thanksgiving was basically just used as an excuse to start playing Christmas music and decorate trees. Some even started right after Halloween. Insane.

"I'm getting a sense of bitterness from you today, and I don't think it's from the cold."

Kensi pouted her lips and kept walking beside her Companion. "Sam is big into family stuff, the holidays and all that shit. His dad is still alive, and he has a son from a previous relationship."

"Whoa, what?!" Apparently he didn't know everything he thought he did about the people around him. He was becoming too laid back, or too trusting, in his relationship with her.

"Things happen, Deeks," she continued. "I always offer to work the holidays for that reason."

"Yeah, for _that_ reason." He adjusted his scarf and fingerless mittens, and Kensi rolled her eyes for the twentieth time at how ridiculous he looked. "I know you have a mother, Kensi."

Smoke blew from her nose as she exhaled forcefully. Other people could keep things from Deeks, but she sure as hell couldn't. He was either nosy or just really damn good at reading her. "Deeks..."

"I'm just saying, I could really go for a turkey leg and a fireplace right now."

"I don't even know where she lives," Kensi explained, her voice full of shame.

Deeks tilted his head. "It's not that hard to find someone's address, so I'm guessing you don't want to know? Or she doesn't want you to know."

"Maybe both," she answered quietly. A noise off to their right distracted him from his information probing, and he went to check it out while she backed him up from the street. Though all the stores on this street were closed, the holiday lights shone brightly on this dreary LA day. Everything would be open soon, and the streets would be filled with shoppers looking to get the best deal on the stupidest presents they could find. This time of year, everyone drowned their sorrows and credit cards in joy and peace, ignoring the fact that their worlds were anything but that for a month. Hmm, maybe she was bitter.

"Hey, uh, can you come here for a sec?" Deeks called, popping his head up from behind some boxes.

She furrowed her brow and glanced around her before following him down the little strip between two clothing shoppes. Trash was piling up due to the holiday schedules, making it more difficult for her to navigate her way through the mess without tripping. "What did you find...oh."

A case of guns, or explosives, or even knives was what she was used to finding hidden in plain sight. Not paws and fur and puppy dog eyes. Deeks was crouched on the ground, rubbing the little dog's body with his big mittened hands. The little guy had scraggly tan fur, with a little white mohawk and the blackest nose she'd ever seen. He was so ugly that he was cute. "He's freezing," Deeks said, pulling the puppy close to his body. "I dunno how he got here. There's no mother around and he doesn't have a collar."

Probably ran away or escaped from somewhere, Kensi thought. "We need to take him to the shelter."

"Shelter's closed, it's Thanksgiving. Duh."

"They have a drop-off," she reasoned, growing uncomfortable with the look in his eyes.

He sighed. "Drop-off is a little cage outside, how is that going to do him any good?"

"No."

" _Come on_."

"Deeks," she hissed. "We cannot take this dog home. Besides, I'm pretty sure my building doesn't allow pets."

"Where's your holiday spirit, huh? You can give this little guy something to be thankful for." Deeks poked his lip out and waved one of the puppy's paws in the air. "And, your landlord let you live in squaller for years, there's no way this dog is as messy as you are."

"Ha. Ha." A gust of wind blew and it felt like ice against her face. As much as she didn't like it, she still wasn't cold-hearted enough to let this little animal freeze to death. "One night only, then tomorrow we try to find him a home."

A grin spread across her partner's face. He unzipped his jacket a little and tucked the puppy inside. The mutt licked his chin in response. "See, now we're a crime fighting trio."

Kensi shook her head, willing him to not become too attached. The relationship between Companions and animals wasn't one they'd ever discussed, but she could see already that he was an animal lover. It made sense, though. If she thought about it, Deeks himself was a lot like a puppy - loving, dependent, protective, and loyal to a fault. _God_ , what had she gotten herself into? "I don't think you can train a dog to shoot a pistol, dude."

"He says he has a really good nose, we could train him to sniff for bombs."

"We?" She stepped back onto the street and resumed their patrol. "And what, you can read dog thoughts too?"

Deeks shrugged. "Maybe. He says his name is Monty, by the way."

"He didn't say that."

"He says he really likes turkey and stuffing, too."

Kensi gritted her teeth. She hated the holidays, but that was because they always made her feel even lonelier than usual. This year was, well, unlike any other. One thing she definitely wasn't was alone, and she guessed that was one thing she could be thankful for. "About that," she said, giving in to the holiday cheermeister. "Sam and Callen said we could come over after our shift. To eat, or whatever."

His eyes lit up, and she swore the puppy's did, too. "Now that's what I'm talking about."

Shaking her head, she chuckled. "Sam makes a mean green bean casserole, I've heard."

"Monty hopes he makes a mean pumpkin pie, too. No, I lied, that was me thinking that." Deeks reached out and grabbed her freezing cold hand in his warm one, stopping her in her tracks. "Kensi."

She tilted her head, only half faking her annoyance. "What?"

The thought that this was his first Thanksgiving without Jess never crossed her mind until she saw it in his eyes right then. He smiled and squeezed her hand, and she could feel how much happier he was already. "Thank you."


	9. It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

_Happy Holidays!_

* * *

There was a possibility that she was going to kill him. Or, try to kill him at least.

Deeks knew that Kensi didn't care much for the holidays, even though she blocked him away from the exact reason for her disdain. He knew enough about humans and their emotions and connections to understand that the good ones didn't hate for no reason. They could love for no reason, but hate was usually inspired.

And he didn't really plan on trying to turn her hate around, but if he could lessen it, they would both be happier. Because he loved Christmas - the lights, the songs, the smells, and the joy. It was in his nature to thrive off of happiness, and for so long the holiday season had been a great source of that for him.

Until he bonded to the Grinch, of course.

Not that she shouted her loathing from the mountaintops or anything. Kensi put up a strong front and played nice with all of the activities, and even decorated the palm tree at the Mission. But he knew better, and knew she was going to be pissed when she walked through the door to her apartment in 3, 2, 1...

Monty the puppy yipped as she entered her code to unlock the door, then plopped his furry little butt in front of it. "I'm baaaack...what the hell is the dog wearing?"

"He's Prancer," Deeks answered, but it seemed pretty self-explanatory. Monty had antlers and a jingly red collar around his neck. "He was Rudolph, but he ate his red nose. So, yeah. Prancer the normal nosed reindeer."

"He's a dog." Kensi rolled her eyes but knelt down to scratch the puppy's ears. Having a dog wasn't her choice, but she had warmed up to the little guy. It helped that he was a snuggler and had been a fast learner with the potty-training.

Deeks paced around, a little anxious about her dismissive attitude about the state of her apartment. "Doctor visit go well?"

"He's not a doctor, he's a chiropractor."

"And his name is..."

 _Dr._ Todd was the silent answer. "Shut up," she snarled, standing up and grabbing a chocolate dipped pretzel with green and red sugar sprinkles on it. "It was fine. Good. It still seems to be helping, so there's that."

"Good. Great." Seeing a chiropractor was something she'd fought, but after getting repeated headaches due to an unrealized neck injury, it made the most sense for her health. Granted, there had been a few times when Deeks "helped" her with the headaches, but using their intense mental connection for medically necessary orgasms felt...well, just wrong. He was her Companion, not an almost-human vibrator.

Kensi pursed her lips. "I'm waiting."

He smiled innocently. "For?"

She ran her fingers along a string of lights on top of the kitchen bar, then flicked a tiny stuffed snowman in the head. It tumbled to the floor. "For an explanation of why it looks like the North Pole vomited in my apartment."

It wasn't that bad really - a small tree by the television, adorned in twinkling lights and cheap ornaments. Some fake snow. A few strands of lights. Various snowmen and reindeer, one of which was now DOA on the floor. "What did Frosty ever do to you?"

"Nothing."

"Do you hate Santa, too?"

"I don't hate Santa." Kensi rolled her eyes. "I am used to being...alone for the holidays. It has been that way for a while, and I have been fine with that."

And he was used to not being alone, ever, and couldn't understand why she would prefer that. His brain worked very similarly to a real human's most of the time, but he thought logically. Logic would tell him that if he had been happy with his former humans during the holidays, then obviously other humans would like the same, for lack of a better word, companionship.

Being around Kensi right now gave him little twinges of sadness that had no explanation. Her mind and heart were closed off tight, and she wasn't letting him in. It was as if he had lost months of progress, but she still maintained the same amount of control over him. It hurt. "Do you ah, want me to leave?" Deeks asked quietly. Another snowman fell to the floor, this time by its own accord.

She narrowed her eyes in confusion. "Don't be ridiculous. You live here. We live here. It's just-"

"Different," he finished her thought. For both of them.

Bending her knees, she picked up the lost snowmen and placed them back with the others. "The place looks great. Very festive. Do you also dress up like Santa on Christmas Eve?"

"Only on request," he joked back. But yeah, he did have a suit. It would probably stay in storage this year.

* * *

"He's doing it on purpose, right?" Deeks leaned on the rails of the second floor balcony, watching as Sam sighed and pecked Callen on the lips. "I mean, Callen is totally setting him up every time."

"Totally doing it on purpose," Nell agreed, clicking her kitten heeled boots in delight. Her snowman sweater was gaudy, her cheeks were artificially rosy, and with her small stature, she could have easily passed for one of Santa's elves. He loved it.

Just like him, she loved the holidays. It must be in their programming somehow - the need to bring joy and happiness during times when people often struggled to find such things. And maybe they could be obnoxious about it, but they were only almost human. She could feign innocence with the ridiculous amount of mistletoe she'd hung throughout the Mission, but really, she just got a kick out of watching people get stuck underneath it.

And get stuck, they did. Callen tricked Sam nearly every day into stopping underneath one of the many hanging plants throughout the building. Considering how little time they actually spent at their central office instead of working the streets, the number of justified on-duty kisses Callen managed to acquire was pretty impressive.

Sam and Callen weren't the only ones, though. Nell let Eric catch her under the mistletoe plenty of times. Kensi got some Christmas sugar from Eric once, too. That was awkward. Hetty got stuck with Sam, though he was wise enough to just give her a peck on the cheek. Deeks had only left himself open to manipulation once, and Nell standing on her tip-toes to reach his lips had everyone laughing hysterically. That was an interesting sensation for him, kissing another Companion. Far less overwhelming than kissing a human, that was for sure. The overwhelming part was what made kisses special, though.

"She's pretty close to that one by the side entrance," Nell commented a little too casually. "Just saying."

"Who, Kensi?" Deeks scowled. He had been trying to catch her under the mistletoe for a week now, but kind of hated that Nell knew it. "And get junk punched in my synthetic balls? No thank you."

"Come on, it's Christmas Eve."

"And she's Ebenezer Scrooge."

Nell hummed. "Hmm, yeah. Maybe the ghost of Christmas past has been paying her an extended visit?"

He shook his head and sighed. "Do you know something I don't?"

"Lots of things, I would imagine."

"You're an asshole," he chided, heading for the stairs. "And that sweater is ridiculous."

"You're welcome!"

Deeks attempted to hurry down the stairs as if he weren't actually in a hurry, and jumped from the third step to land right in front of his human. "Sup partner?"

Her eyes flew up from the papers in her hand. "Shit, you scared me."

"Just keeping you on your toes."

"You're so weird..." Blowing a puff of air from her cheeks, she tossed the papers on her desk. "I was just reviewing some end of the year paperwork."

He tilted his head and slowly started inching backwards. "You didn't ask me to help."

"You haven't been here the whole year," she countered. "Why are you backing away from me?"

"I'm not backing away from you." He took another step.

Kensi balked at him, but did exactly what he had wanted - she followed. "Liar."

"Okay, maybe that burger you had for lunch had too many onions on it."

"Shut up." She lunged to try to hit his shoulder, but he grabbed her fist and pulled her under the desired entryway. "What are you-"

"Mistletoe!" Nell pointed and yelled from the second floor. What was left of the skeleton crew turned their heads in unison and collectively "oooooooh-ed."

Kensi had cheered on all of the other mistletoe kisses but looked like an animal caught in the headlights when she was put on the spot. Before she could protest, and he could feel it coming, Deeks squeezed his knees together (for protection) and dipped his lips to meet hers.

The kiss was chaste, just as his with Nell had been, but he knew before it even happened that it could be life altering. It wasn't just two partners or friends connecting. The bond between them was something that even the smartest human or artificial life form couldn't put into words. It was love and protection and friendship all concentrated into one action, and he could literally feel her breath being stolen away. His chest felt tight and his thoughts were a cloudy mess as he pulled away. Very, very cloudy.

It was too much for her. He knew it instantly. Her cheeks were flushed and he could hear her heart in his own ears. Was she just surprised? Pissed? About to turn into a human Roman candle? The seconds it took before she was able to speak felt like a lifetime while waiting for her reaction. Especially when it didn't turn out to be the one he wanted to get.

"I, uh." Kensi wiped her top lip with her thumb and looked around anxiously. "I'm gonna call it a day. Merry Christmas everybody."

"Kensi, wait-"

"I'll see you when you get home, Deeks," she interrupted, slinging her bag over her shoulder. The tightening of his chest grew worse as she walked out the door, and he wasn't sure whether the pain was actually originating from her anymore.

* * *

She took the car. It was only fair, really, seeing as how he apparently crossed all the lines of personal space and appropriate workspace boundaries. Not that they didn't share a bed, or see each other in their underwear, or make crude jokes with each other on a regular basis. Or, it wasn't like he didn't love her. He had no choice in that, but even if he did, he would still love her rude, messy, annoying ass. The lonely ride home on his borrowed bike gave him plenty of time to acknowledge all of these things as he tried to sort through the jumbled mess of memories that flooded his brain for the few seconds his lips were on hers.

And as intuitive as he was, as much as he could feel and sense and understand, he still couldn't make sense of what he saw. Maybe because he just wasn't wired to understand. There was one thing he did know for sure that he had to do, though. He unlocked the door of the dark apartment, with Monty greeting him as usual. Kensi was sitting quietly by the tree, flipping through an old book. "I'm sorry," he said immediately.

"Don't be." She closed the book and motioned to the floor in front of her. "It's a Christmas tradition, and even baby Jesus knows you fucking love Christmas."

Clearing his throat, he sat facing her with his legs crossed. It was then that he noticed that there were actually _two_ presents under the tree - the one from him that had been there for days, and one that he assumed was from her. "I don't guess you enjoy the irony of loving Christmas but not believing in the baby Jesus, do you?"

She rolled her eyes. "If there is life after death, and a heaven, do you think special circumstances would warrant the admission of robots?"

"Probably not."

"So does it really matter if you don't believe in something historical that you were probably programmed to be indifferent about?"

"I guess...not." He tilted his head. "Is this going somewhere?"

Reaching for his hands, she pulled them towards her, inspecting the smooth but hard lines of his fingers. "What are you, Deeks?"

Her walls were down again, so he knew exactly what she meant. "My name is DKS-35. I am a Companion, a form of artificial intelligence created to protect, bond to, serve, and love humans."

She blinked, and he thought she seemed sad. "And do you wish that you weren't? That you were human instead?"

"No," he answered instantly. Because he wouldn't have this right here if he were. He wouldn't have saved her life. He wouldn't have saved other lives before he met her. His purpose here has never been in question. "Why?"

"Sometimes I forget that you're not. I have wondered if you wish you were." Kensi drew her bottom lip between her teeth. "And then when I remember what humans are really like, I realize what you really are. Because you're not like...them."

"Someone hurt you." He looked at the tree, and looked at her again. The sight was familiar, like it was already in his brain. "Right? Around Christmas?"

She nodded. "I don't have much luck with the holidays. I was engaged once. He left me on Christmas Day. A few years before that, I lost my dad shortly before Christmas. He was my best friend, and the reason I am what I am today."

 _A rude, snoring, cover hog?_ Deeks thought. Kensi smiled and pinched his hand. "So, all of this peace and joy bullshit is just...kinda ugh," she continued. "And I'm feeling very confused about us right now."

"I shouldn't have tricked you to get under the mistletoe."

"But why did you?" She frowned and squeezed his hands. "You don't have, well, _manly_ urges. And I know that if your human has those feelings, that you'll return them, but I didn't ask for that. That was all you. Why?"

For once, he had nothing. No smart remarks or jokes or even an answer to the question. _Circuits overloaded._ That excuse would work if he were just a robot, not a cyborg built to think on his own and rationalize and feel. There had to be an answer - there was an answer for everything if he thought hard enough about it.

Kensi sighed. "Will you tell your brain to slow down and just admit that you did it because you wanted to?"

He was confused. So confused. "That's the only logical explanation. I wanted to. You've been so sad. I wanted to make you happy, or at least laugh. That makes me happy."

"And did the super cliché kiss under the mistletoe make you happy?" She asked, biting back a grin.

"Maybe," he grunted. "Until you ran off, anyway."

She looked at him like she had more to say, but wasn't up for it. Instead, she let go of him and grabbed one of the presents from under the tree. "I got something small for you."

"Me, too." His package was bigger, and he almost boasted that, but she'd seen enough of his cock antics by now to be tired of the jokes. "My box is bigger," he said instead.

"What's in it?" She asked as they swapped gifts. Kensi was impatient and ripped into the wrapping before he could answer her. The gift definitely needed an explanation. "An herb garden? You realize that I had a cactus once, and I still managed to kill it."

Deeks pointed to the box, a starter kit for a small garden. "Part of the gift is that I'll keep it alive for you. I heard you talking to Callen one day about how you wanted one of these. Was I wrong?"

"Not wrong," she said with a smile. "I love it."

"It's boring."

"It's awesome. Especially since you're gonna be cooking lots of good shit for me with this. Thank you." She nodded to him. "Open yours."

It was flattering that the Grinch's heart had grown enough to make her want to give him a gift. Though maybe he should stop thinking of her as the Grinch now that she'd explained her history with the season of lights. And the eyes glaring at him, those fascinating eyes of hers, let him know that she was in his head. _Oops._

"Grinch?"

"Sorry. Again."

"Open the damn gift."

"Right." The present wasn't so much wrapped as it was just covered with recycled brown paper that he was pretty sure she had brought home from work. If he had to guess based on the size and weight, it was a book. The shape was a little wonky though. He ripped the paper at the top, peeling it down to reveal his prize. And was actually, genuinely surprised.

In his hands was a picture frame, one that was very obviously old. The sheet covering the picture was made of actual glass, not some sort of alternative, and even had a crack spreading up it from the bottom right corner. The frame itself was simple, antique bronze with a worn filigree around the edge. People didn't have frames like this anymore. They rarely had paper photos at all, much less ones that looked as professional as the one she had printed and placed in this frame.

It was from just a few days ago, after the NCCS Christmas party. Some of them had gone to the beach afterwards to continue the festivities, and he had swung by the apartment to pick up Monty on the way. In the picture, he was playing tug of war with the puppy while Kensi sat with her arms on her knees, laughing at the two of them making growling faces at each other. "Who took this?"

"Eric," she answered lightly. "He and Nell were showing me his pictures and I asked if I could have that one to print. What do you see when you look at it?"

He shook his head, staring intently at the picture that he never wanted to let go of. If he was an outsider looking in, he would immediately think they were a family. That wasn't true, of course, but it wasn't necessarily false either.

"I don't really see a cyborg, do you?"

"Not really," he agreed. "But perception isn't always reality."

Kensi pushed her garden set out of the way and crawled to his side so she could see the picture again. "It's not. But _this_ is why I have to remind myself that you're not human. And in some ways, you're even better."

 _Even if you can be really annoying_ , he could tell she was thinking, but he was perfectly fine with it. That train of thought ran both ways, but not tonight. It was Christmas, and his gift may have been bigger, but hers was better. "Thank you, Kens. I love it."

"Good." Though he could sense what was coming, he was either too slow to stop it or just didn't want to. A hint of peppermint candy cane wafted up his nose just before she brought her lips to his. His thoughts weren't muddied this time, and he was able to enjoy the heady sensation of literally taking someone's breath away. Not too much, as she broke their embrace before it overwhelmed her.

 _But there's no mistletoe_ , he thought.

"I know," she said with a soft smile. "Merry Christmas."


	10. Personal

A dream within a dream within a dream. It was like being stuck in a giant cyborg sized bubble, unable to burst his way out of the scene his stupid imaginary igloo kept him trapped in. So this was how the bubble boy felt, he thought. He was fairly certain no bubble boy or girl ever had to witness something like this, though.

He's not scared, because this has already happened and they survived it. But he could see the guns through her eyes, hear the wood shattering through her ears, and feel the impact on his own back. And screaming, so much screaming, that he found it impossible to discern where one voice ended and another began.

Nightmares. What a bitch.

The worst part? Even if he could force himself awake, he'd still be living it. The only way to end it was for her to wake up. _Coffee, donuts, eggs, donuts, bacon, donuts._ The happy subliminal thoughts of breakfast weren't working. Her fingers gripped his shirt, practically clawing at his chest. He didn't remember that from the day he acted like a human shield to protect her. Everything moved so quickly in real time, but life in a dream was like swimming through sludge.

 _Wake up. Wake up!_

Deeks blinked. It was still dark outside. Kensi rested with her back to him. If it weren't for the nightmare and her erratic breathing, she could have fooled him into thinking she was still asleep. Humans - not as smart as they think they are.

Though they shared a bed, personal space was still a very real thing. Kensi recently upgraded her full size bed to a king, providing much more room for her obnoxious sleeping habits. They didn't cuddle unless one sensed the other needed it. Like now. Rolling onto his side, he snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her flush against his chest. She mumbled in protest. "I'm fine."

Kensi only said she was fine when she was, in fact, _not_ fine. But she didn't want to talk about it, and that (unlike her) was fine. He could feel her heart pounding against his chest. It was way too fast. Not that he had her heart rhythm patterns memorized or anything, but okay yes, he was very in tune with all aspects of her body and mind. That's just his nature.

So, a distraction seemed like a good idea. She needed to calm down, and they both needed to sleep. Talking would work. He could be boring as shit sometimes. "So, uh..."

"What?"

 _Wake up_ , brain. Think of a good yet boring question. "When, uh, when's the last time you...had sex?"

Her heartbeat quickened even more. Not a good or boring question. Cyborgs - also not as smart as they think they are. "That's a very personal question."

"Personal?" Deeks puckered his lips, resting them on her bare shoulder. Her tank top smelled like chocolate. "You peed with the door open this morning."

"I thought you were still asleep."

"You also asked me to brush the tangles out of your hair before we went to bed."

She blew a puff of air out of her nose like a bull about to charge. The question he'd originally chosen might not have been the best, but at least the distraction technique was working. "My hair has gotten outrageously long."

He liked her hair long. She knew he liked it long. "You baked me a cake for my birthday."

"Which you didn't eat."

"That's because _you_ baked it. I prefer not to suffer from gastrointestinal distress."

"You're an asshole."

Deeks shrugged lightly without letting his face leave her shoulder. "I've always owned that. But I'm an asshole that you kissed on Christmas. What does that say about your judgment, Miss Personal?"

"You kissed me first," she argued.

"Kissing under a poisonous plant is a fascinating social convention."

"Stop acting like a robot." Kensi sighed and lay silently for a minute. Her heart rate was much closer to normal now. The conversation served its purpose to make her forget her nightmare, but he might have unknowingly opened Pandora's box in the process. Next time, he would just hold her until she fell back asleep. Live and learn. She grumbled under her breath. "You knew exactly what you were doing."

True. Instead of admitting it, he simply kissed her neck. Just once. A comforting kiss, nothing else. "I was merely pointing out examples of other personal experiences we have shared with each other. It's not like I asked what your favorite sexual position is. I just wanted to take your mind off of the nightmare, but now I'm curious as to why my desire to stay abreast of your sexual health is more personal than any of those other things."

"I keep you plenty _abreast_ of my sexual health."

"Saying 'get out unless you want to get off' is different than telling me that you met some hot guy or girl at a bar with your friends. Though I do appreciate the warning."

Her back tensed. "Is there a point to this conversation at all or are you just trying to get payback for all the sex questions I asked you when you moved in?"

"I just want you to be happy," he answered.

It was simple but true, a response he knew she'd understand because she understood him and the way he worked. He was mostly happy, therefore logically it seemed she was as well. But there were times, like right now, that he felt a hole inside of her. Something she wanted or needed and didn't have. He had other thoughts but didn't speak them aloud - _I don't like it when you have nightmares. I don't like it when you're scared, or sad, or hurt. I hate the thought that you might be lonely. I know I might not be enough._

Silently she traced her fingers along the lines of his hands. Their connection was always the strongest when skin met (synthetic) skin. He gripped her waist tightly, not letting go even though her fingers felt like feathers tickling him. The sensation was funny coming from someone who tried to make herself appear as hard as nails. Her touch was actually as soft as silk. She smiled. "I actually don't remember the last time I was this happy."

Human emotions could be both a blessing and a curse for him. Happiness, a beautiful and uncomplicated emotion, always felt like a blessing. Many others took longer to process and understand. It was the others they fought on nights like this, when he offered comfort and she took it, when he needed reassurance and she gave it. And then there were the others, the complicated and neglected _others_.

"Go back to sleep," Kensi interrupted his thoughts. "Early morning tomorrow."

"I'll go to sleep when you do," Deeks said.

"I'm going to sleep."

"Me too." He closed his eyes and willed them both to LaLa Land, but it didn't work. "Hey, Kens?"

"What?"

"Just out of curiosity, what _is_ your favorite sexual position?"

"You're ridiculous."

"What?" He laughed. "I'll tell you mine."

She yawned. "Please, do tell."

Deeks grinned. "Whatever her favorite is."

"Ugh." She feigned disgust but smiled anyway. "Fucking cyborgs."

If he concentrated hard enough on her breathing and heartbeat, the combination would eventually lull him to sleep. Her body to him could act like a white noise track that played the lovely sounds of human life instead of crashing waves or waterfalls. Just as he teetered on the cusp on consciousness, he heard a sleepy mumble. "Cowgirl."

"Hmm." His eyelids fluttered. "Yeehaw."

* * *

 **A/N:** No matter what universe, I always have Kensi say her favorite position is the cowgirl. Even in dystopia, some things never change.


	11. Synonyms

_Written for the tumblr Densi proposal challenge. I take creative liberties with these things, sorry._

* * *

"We're getting married."

The words played like a song in her head, over and over again until she ran out of tunes. By then, she simply felt them written deep in her soul.

Kensi didn't do jealousy, especially not over her two coworkers announcing their intention to become husband and husband. She was ecstatic for them. It had to be shock on her part that sent her on this emotional spiral. It was, after all, only a year ago that she thought of Sam and Callen as just roommates and partners. Well, the partner thing was right. She hated when she realized how naive and blind she could be. Her own partner (not the same kind) thought she belonged in another world, or another time, where her hope wouldn't be ruined by the reality they currently lived in.

She sighed. He'd find her soon enough. After tight hugs and congratulations, she'd quietly snuck away from the group, driving until she found a spot to clear her mind. The beach still existed in this shit hole of a city, a reminder that some beauties couldn't be oppressed. And yet, so few came to enjoy it. Beauty inspired thoughts that often ended in disappointment.

In another time, she imagined herself on this beach. The sand was cleaner, the sun brighter. And she wasn't alone. Her hair was shorter, his was longer and even shaggier. And he had a beard, because she always said his face needed hair. After seeing this image before her, two lovers on the beach, she realized how...hot they looked together.

The imaginary couple laughed, like they loved the foreplay of mockery and teasing. She pushed him, hard, and he stumbled into the ocean. Her laughter stopped once she noted his panic as he patted his pockets and splashed in the water, desperately searching for something he'd lost. She waded in, running her hands through the waves to help, her voice now soothing instead of playful. This wasn't part of the plan, Kensi thought, but she smiled to herself when the woman found the tiny blue box in the water and dove into his arms so forcefully that they both sunk under the waves.

They arose from the blue a little older and wiser, and with more company. The boy looked like her, the girl like him. They were beautiful, this little family in their own world where nothing could harm them. The sparkle in the couple's eyes remained, even with a sleepy little boy and overly hyper daughter. The wife said something to her husband, and this time he shoved her into the water. Kensi laughed - she probably deserved it.

The laugh turned to a contented sigh. The couple was alone again, and much older. The brunette's hair had turned to gunmetal gray, while the blond's hair aged gracefully to silver white. They walked slowly but with purpose, and in silence until they reached the spot where she had shoved him into the water so many years ago. He took her hand in his and squeezed, allowing her to lead him to the water's edge. The waves lapped at their ankles, then thighs, and Kensi pulled her knees to her chest and dipped her head when the water reached their stomachs. She couldn't bear to watch anymore.

A familiar presence made himself known, kneeling behind her in the sand. "Why did they walk into the ocean?"

 _They_ , not we, Deeks said. Kensi had left her thoughts open and vulnerable, but he didn't register the couple in her mind as them. Why would he? There was a distinctive difference - the man was human. She cleared her throat and raised her head, making no attempt to hide her bloodshot eyes. "Where one goes, the other follows," she answered.

He nodded, settling into the sand. Wrapping his legs around hers, he pulled her to his chest. An intimate, but innocent and comforting, gesture. "Unwavering devotion."

"Love."

"Synonyms," he responded. "I wish I could prevent you from being sad."

"Wistful," she corrected again.

"Do you have a fucking thesaurus in your hoodie or something?"

That garnered a snort. Kensi looked at the ocean again, but there were no humans, real or imaginary, to be seen. They were gone, and she was back to reality. Maybe in a previous life she'd had the kind of love she allowed herself to fantasize about on occasion. What she has now is not the same, but it would be foolish to discredit the devotion just because they didn't call it love. Life wasn't a fairy tale - it was cruel yet amazing and unexpected. It was real.

She smiled. "Do they have a wedding date yet?"

"No, but they want me to be the ring bearer." Kensi laughed. "You think that's funny? You're the flower girl."

That was funny, too. Well, she had always wanted to be in a wedding. The dreams of it being her own were beyond her grasp, so far gone now that she was almost ready to let them be swept away. "Perfect."


End file.
